Reading about Tony Hsieh’s downward mental spiral leading up to his death forced me to re-examine my own life and my idea about success and happiness. Tony, a man who was tremendously successful as the CEO of Zappos, and whose personal brand was to “deliver happiness,” unfortunately battled with loneliness, depression and drug abuse in the last moments of his life. His passing is a clear example of how success does not necessarily equate to happiness.
After the wake-up call from Tony’s death, I’ve been doing a lot of soul-searching, keeping my head down to read books, listen to podcasts, attend talks, or anything that could help me find my calling in life. Yesterday, I attended a networking event that had a panel of successful businesswomen. The two people that impressed me the most are the runner-up Mrs. World Thu Huong and Thu Hien — CEO of Women’s Initiative for Startups and Entrepreneurship (WISE). At 41, Thu Huong is still insanely beautiful, youthful, and active in running multiple businesses. You may recognize her as the lead actress from “Co Thu Ky Xinh Dep,” a famous VietnameseTV drama back in the 2000s. Her formula for success is very concise: “natural talent + the right environment/community + not being afraid to face challenges = success,” but I believe she must have gone through a lot to learn this tried-and true lesson. Meanwhile, Thu Hien talked about her job-hopping experiences when she was younger. She first worked at VTV then at the Vietnam Ministry of Trade, being able to travel to multiple countries and negotiating with their diplomats before eventually finding her true passion, which is empowering women to believe in themselves and their ability to build successful businesses.
Listening to these outstanding women spurred multiple questions inside my head: Is it better to find one’s true passion early on and stick with it through thick and thin? Or is the exploration of multiple career paths necessary to help one find one’s true calling? What’s the one thing that wakes me up in the morning, energizes me, and gives me purpose? How do I actually know whether something is truly my passion? Am I just in love with the idea of something and mistake it for my destiny?
At 16 and 17, I was actively finding the meaning of life by perusing as many philosophical works as I could, ranging from Aristotle and Plato to Camus, Sartre, and Nietzsche. At 18, 19, and 20, I was bedazzled by the lifestyles of people with high-pay, high-prestige jobs such as investment bankers, software engineers, and management consultants, and I devoted all of my time to becoming them. Inside though, I knew I was unhappy and dissatisfied with myself; beating myself up to fit the moulds of these lifestyles wasn’t working anymore.
The past few months have given me plenty of time to really self-reflect, to look inward and face all of my hopes, dreams, worries, insecurities, along with my virtues and vices. I’ve realized that the one thing that gets me going, ever since I was little, is sitting at the bookstore for hours on end, discovering and devouring humanity’s knowledge and then writing down my thoughts on the knowledge and experiences I’ve acquired. Putting aside all societal pressure to be successful, I now believe that my calling in life is to learn, write and reflect on my every experience in order to turn them into captivating stories that impart the wisdom I’ve gained onto my readers. Consider this a promise to myself to keep my love for writing alive and keep improving my craft. I know my writing can still be sloppy at times, but I also trust that if I don’t have the courage to show my work, no one will know about the insights that I’m desperate to share with the world.
There are still a lot of questions I cannot answer, but I know my love for learning and writing can only help me understand myself and the world better. Have you found your passion in life? Is there any story, event, video, or piece of writing that has nudged you closer to your true purpose in life? Feel free to share with me your thoughts, for I know that we are all on our own journey to self-discovery and self-realization.
